diffulties in finding a job, that s nothing to rejoice of. you should enjoy when he’ll have to face the perfect instance of bad luck: a testicle that falls, impotence…this you shoud rejoice of. the bad score on his dissertation, that he caused himself, it is nothing. the perfect instance of bad luck.
EP on revenge
oh well, now your dog bit me and i should apologise because my bag scared him!
a man in a bar, after being bitten by a small dog, and accused by the owner to have “scared” the four legged thing
sooner or later, it happens to everyone. despite the 40C outside (in the shadow),despite the total absence of any wind or whatsoever breeze and despite the relaxed atmosphere of the working places during july, you got sick.
summer sickness may take several forms. the most popular is the summer cold, that makes the poor one sneeze and sniff in very unexpected places (i.e. on the beach). another big hit among the summer sickness is the guts’ sickness: this knocks you directly down on the sofa, at least sparing you the embarassment of being sick in public. but obviously there is not limit to the multifaceted fantasy of the bad luck, so you can experience any sort of illness.
when you get sick in the summer, generally all your friends, relatives, or even remote acquaintaces forget about you. you may justify them by saying that they do not want to get sick themselves, the truth being that heathly humans dislike the sight of a sick one, especially during this hymn to life that is the summertime.
so what can you do until you get heathly and happy again?
1) do check your friends walls in facebook. some stalking is always a mood-boosting activity
2) call, call, call: on the phone, no viruses transimission takes place
3) do take care of yourself: take a good look at you in the mirror, try new hairdo or makeups. good for your spirit!
4) set things for when you ll be well again: make plans, book spa. it will make you wanting to get well sooner
5) do put some order in your cell’s phonebook:no more nicknames, twice written names…name, surname, cellphone and home
6) being sick does not mean being miserable. enjoy your nice meals sitting at a table, clean the dishes and dress up in normal clothes when you can
7) take a look at the mails and try to sort them out.
8 ) do not call your exes. it is not going to work
9) read magazines rather then books: you need figures in this state+
10) lay on the bed and listen to full CDs. having nothing to do is a good occasion to enjoy music.
and mostly, get well!
it looks like quite a lot of people out there have issues with sex. according to a recent survey, 40 out of 100 couples say no to any sort of sexual interaction.
so, it s not singles that make a virtue out of a necessity, we are speaking about people that have freely chosen a partner, but with this partner they just..sleep, eat, vaguely cuddle, maybe watch the news.
now common sense suggests that there are three reasons to postpone having a healthy intercourse:
1) one in the couple has lost his/her interest in th other
2) there are several major issues with someone s psychology
3) one in the couple has found someone else (also only platonically)
i don t mean to claim that sex is good per se, and i can somehow see that after the 68s and Sex and the City we are all fed up.
but hiding behind the “we have had too much, let s re-discover the value of cuddling” is just a highway to divorces and unhappy unions. any couple is founded on physical attraction: and sex is just what automatically follows. it feels like schizofrenic attitudes to sex have just something to do with how people over-understand and over-work-out it: there is nothing more to sex than bodies and sweat and gasping.
literally a turmoil on the major English newspapers, when it was reported the news that a 16-year old student passed the GCSE (General Certificate of Secondary Examination) with the shocking result of 2/27.
too little? too harsh a correction? how could it be possible that a (supposedly) well-taught adolescent is only able to elaborate on the theme “Describe the room where you are sitting in” up to 2 over 27 points?
FUCK OFF
this was the whole body of his exam essay.
with this important piece of information revealed, the turmoil takes a different, but equally inflamed, turn: why did he not get zero?
a part from the obvious grammatical and synctactic reasons to give a round zero (capital letters? exclamation mark?), there are quite a few of hidden ones: students should not to make use of vulgar language in official and formal situations, should show respect for the established authorities, show comply to the common understanding that the GCSE is an unappropriate arena to test new form of beat-generation language.
why then 2/27 (or the 7.5% of the total score)?
1 because there was at least something written
1 because the sentece was carrying some meaning
1+1 = 2
the corrector added that if only there would have been an exclamation mark, the grade would have skyrocketed to 3.
now, abstracting from the futility of these comments, one may want to wonder whether Mr. Di Pietro will be willing to blame it on his Oxford education if two days ago he referred to Mr. Berlusconi as a “pimp”.
when a song becomes a life s universally acknowledge truth
a recent survey reported in the French magazine Elle claims that 50% of men prefer chubbier to skinny girls. this stunning percentage goes up to 70% when the respondents are further asked what they think about skinny girls “obsessed by food, counting the calories in each of their meals, eating surprisingly small portions when they sit to have a meal in company”.
but men reason better with their eyes, so in order to help the Messieurs to remember how a chubby girl looks like, two obvious visual examples were brought to them:
now, my doubt is very simple.
isn t it quite likey that the representative sample of men just misunderstood the original question for something like:
do you prefer boney girls, obsessed by dieting, that will never cook a proper dinner for you, or do you prefer these two half goddesses, with abundant boobs and surely not a single hint of cellulite?
would the results have been different with these images of chubby girls?
how would you define “privacy”?
i was glad i did not have to talk to you all the time
TC to the girl who brought him along to a party.
uh la la. “ceretta” is the italian word for wax. during summer, the Italian is caught in a ceretta frenzy. legs, eyebrows, bikini, arms: everything should go. in the Parliament, someone suggested that to inject new capital in the tired italian economy it could be possible to think about setting up a state-owned firm of fine italian tepistry, with all those shiny black hairs that are continously stripped, tweaked, cut.
both men and women undergo “ceretta”. women are not such an interesting topic, sharing this habit with most of the Foreigner females, but men, oh, men are indeed fascinating.
usually the Italian man that waxes is around his 30s. before that, the -perceived- excess hair is dealt with by means of the Razor. this inconsiderate use causes the awful-to-look-at problem of the ingrown hair. so it takes a considerable amount of self-control to actually book an appointment in a beauty saloon.
once in the saloon, the Italian man is at the mercy of the estetician. female. so she starts waxing the back and the chest, as the customer asks. but only after having done that, she reckons with the Italian man that the overall effect is distressing: chest and back smooth as a peach, and arms as hairy as a gorilla. not that she did not know in advance: a little price that men have to pay for centuries of dominance. after few minutes of thoughful considerations on what to be done next, here they start again: waxing, stripping, tweaking.
after al this pain, here he comes in his full glory: the 30-or-so years old Italian with the skin as smooth as a baby’s butt.
scratfromscratch
