the other side of st. valentine

Planning to get divorced?

 Then don’t get carried away by the raining hearts and chocolate boxes in the shops’ windows, but give a look at the table below..

latest trends

in fancy restaurants:

1- the size of the plate has exponentially increased

i happened not to be able to eat comfortably with my arms close to my chest because the plate was too wide! and i do not need to elaborate on the hassle that is to have the glasses at half a meter, clustered with all the others’ in the little space left at the centre of the table

2- the size of the food has geometrically decreased

it’s little, it gets cold, it leaves me hungry! what is the point of eating out if i don’t eat at all?

3- rucola is simply all over the place

what is this?!! i do not want rucola on my pizza, i do not want rucola on my pasta and i definetively do not want rucola on my lasagne!

4- several astonished food-lovere have documented the strange proliferation of vegetarian, OMG, fairtrade food

Omg, fairtrade and vegetarian food look sad, taste bad and DO NOT help the people in need

5- round plates have left the scene to squared, rectangular, octogonal plates

ahs.

6- the tablecloth has disappeared

why oh why?

7- the professional figure of the Waiter has degenerated into too young, too flirtly and too inexperience seasonally hired pals

the one that stares in your blouse when he brings the plate, that makes not funny jokes, that overhears the conversation. and sometimes has a bad breath. no, not your boyfriend, the one with the tie.

8- the bill is no more brought by defaul to the oldest man at the table

 this must be the feminists’ fault. now i can not leave home without the wallet: not even on a date!

 

a relaxed way to fly

now, i do refuse to fly ryanair, or any other low-cost flight company for that matter.  not that i am against saving money, and not that i am particularly wealthy as to consider a lufthansa flight to be “on average, much chepaer than i would have expected” (overheard conversation, lufthansa lounge, dec. 2007). but i have my reasons:

1) time is money: ryanair airports are advertised to be in Venice!, London!, Paris! the truth being, they are at least 40 mins from the city center. 40 minutes. twice, of course, because you have to go to the airport and go from the airport of destination to the city. add that you have to check in at least 30 mins before the gate closes and that you have to wait 15 mins for your luggages -optimistic estimation, at least when you travel to mediterrean countries-. potential delays, say 30 minutes. assume away all other sources of delay- potentially they affect normal companies as well- flying ryanair you have to lose 80 mins for airport connections. with a normal company, these connections take mostly 30 mins.

2) money is money: luggages are not included in the cost of the ticket. are you kidding me? do you think i can travel with a handbag? oh sure, i can shop clothes at my city of destination. make the economy spin! tickets back and forth from these airports in no man’s land are extremely expensive. do i really want to pay the right to take a scant bus which arrives directly from the 80s? a cab, a cab, my kingdom for a cab!

3) sleep is money: have you seen the low-cost flight schedule? insane.

3) mental serenity is money: psychologists cost. anger management courses cost. think of this when you endure the boarding of a ryanair flight with non-assigned seats at 6:00am. experience the bloody and rutless struggles for life, just like during the barbarian invasions. manly combat the human mass stupidity to reach the window seat. show off your biceps and challenge the fundametal laws of physics creating room where there is not to fit your hand luggage.

now. you may wonder what is a relaxed way to fly…

the subtle line between feminism and a men´s paradise

 Swedish women bare breasts in swimming-pool protest
> The Associated Press
> Wednesday, November 21, 2007
>
> A group of Swedish women is making waves by taking their tops off at public swimming pools in a protest against what they call gender-biased rules on swim wear.
>
>
> About 40 women have joined the network and staged topless protests in at least three cities, said Sanna Ferm, 22, one of the founders of the group called Bara Brost, or Bare Breasts.
>
>
> “The purpose of the campaign is to start a debate about why women’s bodies are sexualized,” Ferm said Wednesday.
>
>
> She said the fact that men can be bare-chested in public swimming pools but not women is “a concrete example of how women have fewer rights than men.”
>
>
> Reactions from other swimmers have ranged from support and encouragement to anger and even indifference, she said.
>
>
> The network was formed after two women who were swimming topless in a public swimming pool in Uppsala, north of Stockholm, were asked to cover up or leave.
>
>
> Women can sunbathe topless in the summertime at beaches around Sweden, which is known for its relaxed attitude toward nudity, but they are required to wear tops at public swimming pools.
>
>
> Inger Groteblad, a manager at the swimming facility in Uppsala, said it was a matter of security.
>
>
> “We want to make sure that girls don’t get subjected to sexual harassment,” she was quoted as saying by tabloid Aftonbladet.
>
>
> The women have filed a complaint against the facility to Sweden’s Equal Opportunities Ombudsman.
>
>

> Swedish women bare breasts in swimming-pool protest
> The Associated Press
> Wednesday, November 21, 2007
>
> A group of Swedish women is making waves by taking their tops off at public swimming pools in a protest against what they call gender-biased rules on swim wear.
>
>
> About 40 women have joined the network and staged topless protests in at least three cities, said Sanna Ferm, 22, one of the founders of the group called Bara Brost, or Bare Breasts.
>
>
> “The purpose of the campaign is to start a debate about why women’s bodies are sexualized,” Ferm said Wednesday.
>
>
> She said the fact that men can be bare-chested in public swimming pools but not women is “a concrete example of how women have fewer rights than men.”
>
>
> Reactions from other swimmers have ranged from support and encouragement to anger and even indifference, she said.
>
>
> The network was formed after two women who were swimming topless in a public swimming pool in Uppsala, north of Stockholm, were asked to cover up or leave.
>
>
> Women can sunbathe topless in the summertime at beaches around Sweden, which is known for its relaxed attitude toward nudity, but they are required to wear tops at public swimming pools.
>
>
> Inger Groteblad, a manager at the swimming facility in Uppsala, said it was a matter of security.
>
>
> “We want to make sure that girls don’t get subjected to sexual harassment,” she was quoted as saying by tabloid Aftonbladet.
>
>
> The women have filed a complaint against the facility to Sweden’s Equal Opportunities Ombudsman.
>
>
>
>
> http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/11/21/europe/EU-ODD-Sweden-Topless-Swimmers.php

LoVe

an unnecessary event to celebrate an unremarkable year:
THE Kiss in piazza san marco
starring: 60.000 unimportant people (hopefully an even number)
director: Doug Jack, a man “inspired by life” http://www.dougjack.net/
location: Piazza San Marco, roughly 22.500 square metres, which leaves each person with 0.3 sqm to breath, sneeze, hold the (right) partner and kiss
time: two rehearsals at 22.15 and 22.45 -do people really know how to kiss?http://www.wikihow.com/French-Kiss- , then the real and SPONTANEOUS kiss at 00:00
music: the most heartbreakingly romantic songs (ie Take my breath away)
issue: should homosexuals be allowed to partecipate?
resolution of the issue: two steps: step1) take no official position, step2) the day after, always complain

unspoken issue: 3 deaths for meningitis in the last two weeks. “The risk of getting the disease is very low” YET ” We pass the bacteria between each other by close contact (e.g. kissing)” (http://www.meningitis.org/disease-info/whats-the-risk)

me: i didn’t go. in the fury of kissing according to Doug’s instructions, i might have ended up kissing one of the 100 special cops sent to patrol the area- unless they have been sent in couples as well.

italy vs. sweden

i know that i am in italy and not in sweden when:
it takes 3 seconds and not 3 hours to get an espresso

it takes 3 hours and not 3 seconds to pay a bill

going at the supermarket requires a catwalk outfit

guys on the street x-ray girls and don’t get sued for harassment

if i don’t have change to pay an espresso, i am told i can pay next time

by law, sales start on the 6th, so shopkeepers postdate the receipts

if you enter a shop and say sufficiently laud “abitando qui dietro, posso tornare a casa in 5 minuti” (living nearby, i can get back home in 5) you have a 50% discount on all prices

everyone is Lawyer, Professor, Count or at least Doctor

it’s 5pm and there is light!

you can buy wine, spirits and especially APEROL at the supermarket!

i can rigthfully say i am tall and blonde

there are no kotbullar in any fridge

if you are invited over for dinner you can bet it s never before 8.30 pm

if you are trying to get someone’s attention, you may receive these answers:
“5 minutes” = any amount of time
“un secondo” (one second) = about half an hour/one hour
“un secondino” (a tiny second) = about 10 mins/half an hour
“eccomi/son qui” (here i am) = you are never going to get hold of that person

there are more than 5 varieties of ham

if a guy calls you “bella”, “bellissima”, “stella”, “amore mio”, or any other elaboration on the theme “I’ve never seen a girl like you” , he means “hi”